Archive for June, 2010

Mmm, first day

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 28, 2010 by junker23

That whole job thing started today. Surprisingly, it turned out a bit more interesting that I’d expected. Which doesn’t make it very interesting, but hey, ahead of expectations.

Most noteworthy was my flatulence. Or, due to a terrible decision, the lack of it. Because first impressions are oh so important, and because my cubicle thingy was located right outside both my boss’s office and the lunchroom, I thought it best to contain myself. Doing this for two and a half hours, I started to feel a bit cramped. No one’s been by in a while, might as well relieve some pressure. Ten seconds after evacuation, the head of the engineering team swings in to introduce herself. Delightful. This is made all the more awkward due to a misinterpretation of the name “Steph.” The secretary believing it shorthand for “Stephen,” I was made the wrongful recipient of her free lunch a half an hour earlier. Definitely the best way to introduce oneself, with a cubicle smelling of fart and a stolen turkey sandwich.

Oh, and I almost got driven over by a chick in a Toyota 4Runner on my way in. I had forgotten, cars making left turns at intersections have the right of way. Silly me. And I drive a glorified green go-cart; it wouldn’t have been pretty. Won’t be taking that route in tomorrow morning.

Once I’d successfully arrived, I sat in on a ninety minute overview meeting (that went right over my retarded little head) and spent the rest of the day reading a ridiculously detailed outline of the entire company-wide project. Three times. Yeehaw.

But yeah, sorry about the abundance of work posts. Other ideas are abrewin’, might even go up while I’m working tomorrow!

And somebody clicked a facebook link to this place an impressive four times. I don’t even check this place four times in a day. But don’t let that dissuade you, I live on pageviews.


Shit, here comes life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 27, 2010 by junker23

I graduated from college a month and a half ago. I start a real job tomorrow. Fuck. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not for at least another five to ten years.

It’s technically only an internship, but close enough. If it wasn’t so directly related to what I want to do in the future I’d think of it more as just a temporary thing, but the work I’ll be doing seems pretty similar to what I envisioned for myself career-wise. It’s at a li’l startup biotechnology company right outside of Boston, with a fairly ridiculously impressive list of founders. Therefore, I kinda don’t want to not suck at it. I’m not nervous per se – I should be pretty well prepared. I’ll be working on a new type of stent, mainly coating it with stuff and potentially doing some mechanical testing. I spent this past year of school learning how to do just those things. But still, I can’t help shake a feeling that they’ve made a horrible mistake in hiring me. I’m nothing more than a test taking savant, my only work experience at a pool! If they need me to look flippin’ sweet in a pair of swim trunks? Got it down. But being an actual scientist? Jesus, let’s hope I can figure it out. An unfortunate little piece of me thinks I won’t. Gah.

Luckily, if I do suck at it, it’ll only be for six months. I could potentially stay on a bit longer, but that’s a long ways from now. Hopefully by the time I’m out I’ll have a sense of where I’ll be going to school in the fall of ’11 (grad school FTW!) and with something to do from January to August. I could always find another bioengineering-related internship, but that seems redundant. If it won’t be going on any applications, why bother? Rather mix it up. My idea at this point is what I expected to do this whole year – teach something. Possibilities range from substitute teaching around Mass or teaching English in Korea. Could teach kids or adults, honestly don’t care. Might not be able to land a coaching gig at such an awkward time, but I could always try. I think I’ll regret it if I don’t try to teach somewhere – I’ll probably never have the opportunity to again, so might as well see if I’d like it before it’s too late. Because I can’t delay life forever. Unfortunately.


Posted in Uncategorized on June 27, 2010 by junker23

Guess I sorta forgot about this thing, huh? Since that last barrage of posts I’ve had both a week of no inspiration (read: lazy) and a week of mini-vacation, spent in Syracuse and the Dirttay Jerz. And no, it wasn’t down the shore. Though that would’ve been fantastic. Really wanna experience that greasy, greasy place before the Guidos go extinct due to rampant melanomas.

I currently have ideas for at least six, count ’em six posts! Probably won’t post ’em all bukkake-style though, I might actually try to space them out. To increase pageviews. I never said I wasn’t a whore.

But in the meantime, let’s party it up.

Less than a month!

New Gym Game

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 11, 2010 by junker23

Thanks to having absolutely nothing to do for the last three weeks, I’ve spent a retarded amount of time at the gym. While there, I’ve noticed a preponderance of dudes wearing skin-tight UnderArmour-type shirts. This can be for no reason other than to show themselves off. It’s also just super gay. To combat this, I devised a new game. Whenever I see one of these folks, I’m going to go up to them and say something similar to “That shirt looks great on you,” and wink. This should hopefully get people to wear more loose fitting attire through the fear of being ogled by me. Risks to my face and gym membership be damned, I’mma do this.

The Death of Collegiate Sports

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by junker23

By now, I’m sure anyone that follows sports has heard about a dozen or so conference realignment scenarios. If not, read a bit about it here.

Seemingly, the most likely scenario at this point is the Pac 10 and Big Ten expanding to 16 teams, directly killing the Big 12 and most likely killing the Big East along with it. This is all entirely motivated by football, which still has room to grow and bring in more money. No other collegiate sport offers this lucrative opportunity, which is why they’re all getting thrown by the wayside. Sure, basketball will sort itself out, along with a few other growing sports like baseball and lacrosse. But the Olympic sports? I don’t see any way how this won’t really, really screw them up. Teams are already getting cut across the country at alarming rates, there’s no way that expanding conferences so that they geographically span nearly halfway across the country could help them. Most likely, athletic departments will see the increased cost this puts on the travel expenses for these teams and just start axing them. Most ADs don’t care too much about any non-revenue sport anyway, so this’ll just give ’em a better excuse to get rid of the teams that do nothing for them but lower their profits.

It’s unfortunate, but that’s just the way this looks like it’ll go. The major schools will still survive, but smaller players in niche sports like swimming and track probably won’t be able to stick around. Really sucks.

And oh yeah, fuck USC.

Giant Workout/Diet Post

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 11, 2010 by junker23

This is an account of my weight over the past year. I’d like to apologize for it in advance, this is basically just a diary entry I’m posting online.

I never really got that fat. I’d bet three quarters of Americans would call me an asshole for thinking I was (and I know one person in particular definitely would), but seeing my stomach jiggle just a little bit makes me want to starve myself. But my BMI is still over 25, so retarded methods of measuring obesity still say I am.
I’ve always been a bit unhappy with my weight, aside from a week or two in eighth grade. I’ve never looked like Dr. Manhattan, therefore I’ve always been fat. Just the way I think. Aside from playing a bunch of sports in high school I never really tried to do anything about it – I always just assumed I’d lose the weight because I was practicing a lot, didn’t matter what I ate. Took me until my junior year of college until I finally understood that what I’m eating has a much bigger effect on my weight than my activity level. Learned that about 3,500 calories makes up a pound of fat and that I only need about 2,500 calories a day to maintain my weight. Using that, I decided to actually try and start losing weight in about mid-May of last year. I hit about 190 pounds at my heaviest; ideally I wanted to get down to around 165 lbs.

Initially I was eating next to nothing – I’d eat three meals a day, but cumulatively they’d total less than 1,000 calories a day. I’d be pretty hungry, but chuggin’ some water or chewing and spitting (a fairly dangerous practice, but I managed it well) usually satiated me long enough until my next meal. During this I lifted pretty haphazardly (I pretty much did the same upper-body workout every day) but finally added some cardio to my routine. Usually it was about a half an hour on the treadmill, maybe another half an hour on the elliptical. Because of this, I’d assume I was almost burning more calories working out than I was taking in from food. Thankfully, weight came off quick. Kept that up for about a month until I scaled back my cardio and started eating more. Kept most of that weight off and stayed around 165 lbs until I went back to school in late August, where I decided to just eat as much as I wanted. I had started swimming competitively again this year, so I was just hoping I’d burn enough in those workouts to keep the weight off. It slowly came back, but I never got much heavier than 170 lbs so I was happy.

But once swimming ended, I didn’t really want to stop eating. Starting gaining weight back pretty noticeably, as just lifting three times a week wouldn’t keep it off. Made the decision that I only had a month or two of school left and I’d let myself go. That was enjoyable, but left me with some work to do. I got back up to about 180 lbs, so I had about fifteen pounds to lose.

I finally started working out and dieting again about two and a half weeks ago. Same caloric intake, but this time I’ve never really been hungry. I want to eat, but it’s coming more from my mouth than my stomach. Weird feeling. I also fixed my lifting – I’m alternating days between upper and lower body, which is much more effective over the long run. Also changed up my cardio – I don’t really care to run a bunch of dumbass miles on a treadmill or elliptical anymore. Since I have nothing but time, I’ve started to walk a lot – still burns the same amount of calories and it’s a hell of a lot easier. Also mixed in some swimming and outdoor running, just to avoid boredom.

Surprisingly, I don’t think I’ve lost a single goddamn pound after almost three weeks. Luckily, I don’t care. I look a hell of a lot less fat, so I’m assuming I’m just turning some fat into muscle. A bit frustrating at the outset, but that’s just because I didn’t know I was actually doing anything positive. I’m assuming I’m not just dropping weight this time is because my legs aren’t atrophying like last year, instead actually gaining some mass. I’ll take it.

Hopefully, I can keep this up until I actually get a job somewhere. Dr. Manhattan, here I come. I’ll probably post a few more times about how everything’s going, good or bad.

Mortal Kombat: The Glorified Fan Film

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 11, 2010 by junker23

Watch the clip. Immediately and preferably in Hi-Def. And be warned, the opening bits with the Harlequin babies is a bit unnerving.

Doesn’t exactly have the look of something that’s basically an audition tape. Made for $7,500, without studio knowledge and with a director, Kevin Tancharoen, who had previously only directed the movie version of Fame and some performance stuff for the Pussycat Dolls and Britney Spears. (Interview with Mr. Tancharoen.) Somehow, it ended up amazing. It has everything a MK remake needs – gratuitous violence, quasi-realistic characters and Michael Jai White. Seriously, the guy is awesome. The only mistake it made was casting Jeri Ryan as Sonya Blade instead of Mrs. Pete Sampras, which surprisingly serves to make the character five years older.

Really hope this ends up getting made, and there’s no reason it shouldn’t. Basically every movie coming out this summer is a remake of something anyway, so might as well remake this too. And it’s grittier and grounded in reality! It’s almost like…the perfect storm.