Shit, here comes life

I graduated from college a month and a half ago. I start a real job tomorrow. Fuck. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not for at least another five to ten years.

It’s technically only an internship, but close enough. If it wasn’t so directly related to what I want to do in the future I’d think of it more as just a temporary thing, but the work I’ll be doing seems pretty similar to what I envisioned for myself career-wise. It’s at a li’l startup biotechnology company right outside of Boston, with a fairly ridiculously impressive list of founders. Therefore, I kinda don’t want to not suck at it. I’m not nervous per se – I should be pretty well prepared. I’ll be working on a new type of stent, mainly coating it with stuff and potentially doing some mechanical testing. I spent this past year of school learning how to do just those things. But still, I can’t help shake a feeling that they’ve made a horrible mistake in hiring me. I’m nothing more than a test taking savant, my only work experience at a pool! If they need me to look flippin’ sweet in a pair of swim trunks? Got it down. But being an actual scientist? Jesus, let’s hope I can figure it out. An unfortunate little piece of me thinks I won’t. Gah.

Luckily, if I do suck at it, it’ll only be for six months. I could potentially stay on a bit longer, but that’s a long ways from now. Hopefully by the time I’m out I’ll have a sense of where I’ll be going to school in the fall of ’11 (grad school FTW!) and with something to do from January to August. I could always find another bioengineering-related internship, but that seems redundant. If it won’t be going on any applications, why bother? Rather mix it up. My idea at this point is what I expected to do this whole year – teach something. Possibilities range from substitute teaching around Mass or teaching English in Korea. Could teach kids or adults, honestly don’t care. Might not be able to land a coaching gig at such an awkward time, but I could always try. I think I’ll regret it if I don’t try to teach somewhere – I’ll probably never have the opportunity to again, so might as well see if I’d like it before it’s too late. Because I can’t delay life forever. Unfortunately.

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4 Responses to “Shit, here comes life”

  1. Isn’t it normal to have mini-panic attacks about whether you are actually qualified to do what they hired you for?

    “Could teach kids or adults, honestly don’t care.”

    Kids or adults? You don’t care? iiiiii’m sure.

  2. daniel coventry Says:

    the confidence in ur self is overflowing in this post.

  3. What can I say, I’m just a super confident dude.

    And yeah, guess I’d prefer preschoolers. My mistake.

  4. […] I’ve been a swimmer for some time now. Since I was like, eight. (I’m a big boy now so that’s a long time ago.) I’ve never been particularly good at it in the traditional […]

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